The Chinatown of the future
Expanding on Philadelphia's latest plan to build a stadium next to Chinatown
This year, the Philadelphia 76ers’ toughest opponent isn’t the Celtics, the Lakers, or even its own management team. It’s Chinatown.
The basketball team and local residents have recently been disputing a proposal to build a stadium one block away from Chinatown, prompting several groups to form in opposition to the project. These include the Chinatown Coalition to Oppose the Arena, No Arena in Chinatown Solidarity, and Save Chinatown.
Their main concerns include:
Skyrocketing housing prices
Loss of Chinese residents and culture
More crime
Congested traffic
In response, the 76ers cited these potential benefits:
Increased economic activity in Chinatown
Reduced crime due to hired security
Fun 😀
Although nobody can tell how a project like this will impact locals, I believe that a stadium could actually help the neighborhood. In fact, reading the team’s pitch gave me a few ideas on what should be built next in Chinatown:
A brand-new Walmart
Since the proposed arena will have a capacity of over 18,000 people, there’s no doubt that nearby restaurants will be overwhelmed by ravenous Sixers fans after games. Opening a Walmart would be the perfect solution: fans could grab a drink, a bite to eat, or even BB guns to release their frustrations after remembering that their team has not won a championship since 1983.
The only downside? Thousands of extra visitors means that we’ll need to add a lot more parking spots, which leads me to my next proposal.
A 1.1 million square foot parking lot
Luckily, I found a fantastic location that shouldn’t disrupt the local community too much.
I have a feeling that a project of this scale might drive a few shops out of Chinatown, but not to worry! I’ve got just the fix to make sure that business stays strong.
Beer gardens
Two years ago, Philadelphia’s Eastern State Penitentiary replaced its famed haunted attraction Terror Behind the Walls with a beer garden. Its resounding success serves as an inspiration for future development across the city, which is why I think it makes sense to pad Chinatown with an array of these alcoholic oases.
The only thing missing is a place to hold events other than basketball games. After all, what better way to encourage people to visit Chinatown than to add a modern venue right next to it?
A convention center
Apparently, the city already had this idea in 1993.
Now that we’ve sketched out the entire plan, let’s take a look at our new and improved Chinatown.
Unfortunately, our developments have reduced the size of Chinatown quite a bit — but given the overall benefits, I’m sure its residents won’t mind.